The Problematic way we're marketed 'Bridal workouts' & beyond
As someone who wasted years of their life obsessing over my 'weight,' I am now very conscious and aware of when there's marketing essentially telling us to lose weight / change our bodies.
I vividly remember the backlash around the My Protein adverts, circa 2016/2017, and felt relieved that perhaps we were moving into a world that didn't profit off women's insecurities and constantly made us feel that we aren't enough....(haha imagine!) However I've since realised the war on women's bodies is very rife, and both subtle and often insidious.
While big corporations may have more acumen than to launch questionable campaigns - in the fear of being cancelled - the democracy of 'influence' - via fitness influencers, celebrities, social media - means that problematic information and marketing is very much still shared. We've seen the TikTok glow up challenge - with such a matter of fact way they discuss walking off weight, drinking water to curb hunger pangs...and more recently I've seen the growth of Bridal 'workouts' and 'challenges,' which I really felt compelled to address.
I got engaged in October and I am really excited to be married - it's something I've felt ready for a while and the concept of homogenising our names into our own 'family' and perhaps by then even having our own - is something that is very important to us 🧿 It's a spring board for so much more, and I'm spiritual enough to not believe the nonsense that is 'the happiest day of your life..' how depressing if you're meant to peak so young?! Is the union then just 'downhill' from there? The essence of the what marriage represents for me personally, is a chapter of officially / legally becoming a 'team' and the celebration of that milestone is special. However, as the months have gone by the more I've realised that marriage for women, is used as another excuse for society to make us wage war on our own bodies.
It's not about an 'us' - or the 'man' it's just about the 'bride', and more specifically how we will look.
And some people feed into that: "oh nobody will care what the groom wears, all eyes are on you!" "oh the blushing bride! Doesn't she LOOK great" I really don’t believe we are so emotionally inept to think that a marriage or a wedding is purely some sort of peony inspired London Fashion Week? I genuinely don't think we are, but it's so easy how quickly language seeps into our subconscious.
From problematic bridal shop assistants suggesting 'well you'll probably order the smaller size if you're on the wedding diet!' to 'omg I need to lose weight for your wedding...' it’s all very disappointing
For years of my life I was so obsessed with my weight, I actually don't remember much from those years at all - except the dramatic turning points associated with my struggle. I missed out on so much joy and freedom, and that's why I am so determined to try and help people realise how much more life there is to live, when we truly love ourselves.
It sounds cliché, but our self worth affects everything: the relationships / friendships we tolerate, the work opportunities, how we spend our TIME. Do I want to spend the next however months obsessing over looking a certain way when I get married? No. How miserable! But if I was more vulnerable, I probably would, and it wouldn't be my fault - because we are bombarded with messages that we must change our bodies for an event which shouldn't be about our physical appearance at all...
Some women stress around the planning of a wedding and sometimes they can also be more susceptible to these disordered eating habits, as it's one thing they subconsciously identify as within their 'control.'
When we embark on a fitness programme or diet programme for a wedding - what is the subconscious belief we are telling ourself - "that I won't be enough or deserving of happiness unless I look a certain way. I am not enough as is". We discredit and lose sight of what the event is meant to be - it's not just about the bride and how she looks - it's about the "couple!'
I'm writing this today to remind you, that society profits off your insecurity and loving yourself is one of the most liberating things you can do, and I promise if you are getting married - it is, I believe, the best foundation for all relationships
Isn't it depressing that society has a way of making milestones that are meant to be celebrated, as an opportunity for women to wage wars on their own bodies? Less 'from matt to the aisle' and more JOY 'let's think about our shared values" "what does marriage mean to us" "who are we excited to celebrate with"
Less individualism and pressure and more union and love - isn't that really what it's meant to be all about?